New Beginnings

Tomorrow is my birthday...I say this with a mixture of disappointment and hope. Last year I had promised myself that I would see my 25th birthday in with better health, a new figure and anticipation for a bright, dynamic future. Goes without saying that I fell off the wagon (pretty hard) along the way. But guess what? I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and here I am.

Today is a new beginning. I may not have made it by this birthday but I still have the rest of my life ahead of me. I am tired of promising myself that "tomorrow" will be a fresh start. I don't want to keep passing up opportunities and chances to enjoy life because I am self-conscious, embarassed, afraid. I want to take life by the bull-horns and ride it with a carefree, reckless joy and love it!

"Tomorrow" has come.

Although I hate seeing these numbers in black and white, I honestly feel that having them staring me in the face will keep me focused, and keep me accountable.

STATS:
Height: 5'4"
SW: 220lbs
Short-term GW: 180lbs
Long-term GW: 130lb

Start date: 20th October 2007.

Being overweight is like farting in an elevator. Everyone knows it's happened, but nobody wants to comment on it. I've been overweight for more than 15 years, but weigh more now than I ever have before. I thought that crossing that 200lb mark would be a reality check; it was, but with less than desireable consequences - I sat down and picked at a family sized bar of Cadbury's chocolate until the tears dried and the lump in my throat went away.

But that was then. This is now. I'm tired of having to walk past the "regular" sections in the store to get to the "Plus Sizes" stashed at the back. I'm tired of feeling my bra straps dig into my shoulders. I'm tired of alternating between three pairs of jeans, not because "They're so comfy," as I always claim, but because they're the ones I can fit into that don't cause my tummy to fold over the waistband. I'm tired of feeling that I have to hide my body.

Having said that, I also have more motivation than I have ever had before as well. I recently got engaged to a wonderful, wonderful man who has always loved me for who I am, and I wish I could thank him enough for that. Our wedding date is set for August 2008, and I hope to be able to think that I make a somewhat "beautiful bride" by then.

So please do join me on the journey to essentially finding myself. The road is long and hard, and I'm not going to delude myself into thinking that this is going to happen overnight. But I know the end will be in sight once I cross several hills, and will hopefully arrived there relatively unscathed and not too out of breath. ;)

Once again, welcome to the rest of my life.